‘My Pilates friends helped me realise I didn’t have fibromyalgia – I was perimenopausal!’

Kirsty Graham, 42, from Fife shares her struggle to get an accurate diagnosis

Looking back at all my crazy health issues, I think I’ve been perimenopausal since I was about 34, but I had no clue.

In 2019, I started experiencing pain in my tummy and cold sweats after eating, plus loose bowel movements. My GP diagnosed IBS and prescribed Omeprazole and mebeverine. I also had private food allergy tests and took egg and dairy out of my diet, which helped for about a month or so.

I had crippling joint pain, all on the left side of my body, and mostly in my wrists, fingers and ankles. Painkillers (co-codamol, ibuprofen gel, gabapentin and tramadol) didn’t work, neither did high-strength CBD oils, so I was sent for X-rays on my wrists and ankles.

I was absent from work for months due issues with my jaw, teeth grinding, sensitivity, and pain. I begged the dentist to remove all my teeth – I couldn’t stand the pain. I got a prescription for diazepam to help me relax and get some sleep, and was fitted for a mouthguard, which helped a bit but I still had several teeth removed.

I experienced bouts of thrush and was given Canesten pessaries and creams, but these would burn and make everything feel worse. I was then given a treatment for bacterial vaginosis (BV). I also got lots of urine infections and was given antibiotics, but these would cause thrush. It was a vicious circle that went on for years.

On top of all this I experienced heart palpitations, a loss of motivation, mood swings and I was forgetting so much stuff that I thought I was losing my mind. My periods had become lighter, but I still had them regularly.

The ladies in my Pilates class were the ones who asked, ‘Do you think this could be related to the menopause?’ I was only 38 but they were all in their late 40s and early 50s, and they’d often talk about their health issues.

When I told them about mine, they said it sounded like I was perimenopausal and they recommended I download the balance app to monitor my symptoms and then I’d have proof for the GP. I also listened to Dr Louise Newson’s podcasts and read everything I could to educate myself. I will forever be grateful to my Pilates friends for their advice – it gave me the confidence to know what to say to my GP.

How to talk to your doctor about HRT and get results

However, when I mentioned perimenopause to my GP, she laughed and said I was only 38 so it couldn’t be possible. She told me that my latest round of blood tests and X-rays were fine and she didn’t know what else to say, so ‘let’s just call it fibromyalgia’.

I wasn’t prepared to stand for that, so I asked to change GP and, armed with knowledge from the podcast and balance app, I told the new GP I wasn’t leaving without a three-month supply of HRT.

He said this wasn’t an area he was familiar with, so he wrote to the menopause clinic at the local hospital. He was advised that due to my young age, not trying me on HRT would be more dangerous than trying it and it would give me protection from future health issues. If my symptoms improved in the three months, I could stay on it. By the end of July 2021, I was started on HRT patches and had a Mirena coil fitted.

I felt like I’d finally found the answer to all my issues and I felt ‘seen’. But it was also confusing as I’d always thought menopause was something that happened to older people and it was about hot flushes – not all the other crazy symptoms I’d experienced. I never once felt ashamed that this was my diagnosis, I just needed to feel better.

It then took a year to get off the waiting list for my menopause clinic and have my first phone call with a menopause consultant. I now have a call every three months and it’s been bumpy ride to get my medication right. Although we’re still not there – every time I reach the three-month mark, my body seems to change and my dose needs tweaking – my consultant has been great at listening to me and my ever changing symptoms.

I still have my ups and downs and don’t yet feel like myself, but my husband and 15-year-old son are supportive. They try to understand, but I can be very difficult to live with at times. I just pray one day my son will make a wonderful, supportive husband because he’s seen me struggle so much.

I can’t understand why in school we get taught about periods, sex, pregnancy, giving birth and then nothing. I would urge other women to educate themselves. And the earlier, the better. Please don’t think menopause only happens to older ladies and hot flushes are the only symptom – I’m proof that’s really not the case.

Would you like to share your experience of perimenopause or menopause? Write to us at shareyourstory@balance-app.com