How to cope with Christmas and menopause

Dr Rebecca Lewis shares her advice for surviving and thriving throughout the festive season

With all the organisation that goes into creating the ‘perfect’ Christmas day, the pressure to keep family and friends happy, and the financial burden of paying for the festivities, it’s unsurprising that December can be a stressful time of year.

Add in the hormone changes and symptoms such as low mood, anxiety, fatigue and hot flushes that can occur during perimenopause and menopause, and things can soon feel overwhelming.

So, how can you protect your wellbeing this Christmas? Here, we offer some tips on thriving during the festive season.

RELATED: Menopause and mental health: wellbeing at Christmas

Consider your relationships

Christmas is a time for family to gather but this in itself can be stressful. A survey by counselling charity Relate found that 70% of UK adults said they were worried that Christmas put extra pressure on their relationships [1].

Your perimenopause and menopause may also bring additional stressors to your relationship. Menopause has a clear and negative impact on divorce, separation and relationships – a survey of 1,000 women found that more than seven in 10 women (73%) who responded blamed menopause for the breakdown of their marriage [2].

RELATED: Read more about our menopause and divorce survey here

Relate advises you to have conversations with your family and friends about everyone’s expectations of Christmas well in advance. That way you can deal with any difficult demands and make compromises that suit everyone.

How to diffuse or avoid family arguments

If you have a house full of guests and tempers are starting to fray, suggest leaving the house for a walk to break things up a little. This gives everyone the chance to chat to someone different, or even to stay at home if tension is building.

Rebecca Lewis, GP and menopause specialist at Newson Health, says talking about your menopause with your loved ones can help. ‘During perimenopause, you may feel detached and isolated even among your friends and family,’ says Dr Rebecca. ‘Talk to them about what you are experiencing, and explain that it is caused by your hormones changing. This can really help people to understand and respond with empathy.’

RELATED: HRT: Is a repeat prescription on your Christmas to-do list?

Take the pressure off

The notion that Christmas must be ‘perfect’ means you can heap extra pressure upon yourself.

‘We can often feel overloaded by this pursuit of Christmas having to be incredible,’ adds Dr Rebecca.

‘But if your brain is feeling a bit foggy due to perimenopause, and you’re also working, and thinking about all the presents that you need to get, and stocking up on all the food needed, and ensuring the house is ready for guests, you may not be feeling very joyful. It is no wonder we can feel overloaded – it is such a barrage.’

Simple steps can help make your Christmas overload and menopausal symptoms more manageable.

Set realistic goals, try to get some exercise outdoors every day, delegate jobs to others and do one thing at a time, Dr Rebecca says. ‘Take time to do the things that help you. That might be some yoga, practicing mindfulness, a few minutes to meditate or go for a dog walk.’

Also suggest to friends and relatives this Christmas could take a simpler approach. ‘After all, it is your Christmas as well and you should be able to enjoy it,’ says Dr Rebecca.

Alcohol and hot flushes

It may be the season to eat, drink and be merry, but Dr Rebecca advises being sensible when it comes to alcohol. ‘While reaching for a drink feels the right thing when stressed, it often increases tiredness by disrupting sleep, can make hot flushes worse, increases anxiety and lowers mood,’ Dr Rebecca says.

About 80% of women will experience hot flushes [3]. The exact cause of hot flushes isn’t known, but it is thought to be related to changing oestrogen levels impacting on the areas of the brain involved in maintaining temperature [4].

In addition to alcohol, there is some evidence that spicy foods and caffeine can also exacerbate hot flushes, which is worth bearing in mind during the festive period.

Manage anxiety

Falling levels of oestrogen and testosterone in your brain can increase your anxiety. This can make socialising and planning Christmas events harder, especially as your confidence may have dipped, says Dr Rebecca.

If you’re finding this Christmas hard, you might not realise your anxiety could be linked to menopause. ‘Perimenopause and menopause can really affect your self-esteem and confidence, and bring feelings of paranoia,’ says Dr Rebecca.

Pause to think if the way you are feeling could be menopause related. If you’re unsure, use the symptom tracker on the balance app to record how you are feeling, and take this information with you to a healthcare appointment.

Being aware of the issue and informing your friends and family can help. ‘Involving others can help, so be open if you are struggling,’ says Dr Rebecca.

RELATED: Why is the menopause so stressful?

Address money worries

Money worries can have a huge impact on your mental wellbeing, particularly with the rising cost of living. Charity Citizen’s Advice suggests being realistic about what you can afford, and budget accordingly. Work out how much are you going to spend on each person and stick to it to avoid a January debt hangover.

Remember that all your usual bills of mortgage, utilities and council tax will still need to be met.

‘Christmas is a time of giving, but you don’t want to give yourself a headache in the New Year with bills and debts you can’t afford,’ Citizens Advice says. ‘It’s all too easy to overspend – there are tempting offers and pressures to buy, but you must decide how much you can afford before you start spending,’

The Money Saving Expert website has lots of great advice on saving money, including 48 Christmas MoneySaving tips.

Prioritise your sleep

Get enough good quality sleep is important over the busy Christmas period. Sleep boosts brain power, immunity, heart health and curbs hunger hormones.

But during perimenopause and menopause, declining levels of hormone can have a significant impact on sleep. Some women find it difficult to fall asleep when they go to bed, others struggle to stay asleep for long periods and wake frequently during the night, never feeling they have gone into a deep sleep, while some women find they wake up way too early every morning and can’t drift back off.

Having a regular evening routine, going to bed at the same time, even during Christmas, can help, as can keeping your bedroom cool. HRT will improve perimenopause and menopause symptoms such as night sweats and urinary symptoms like frequent urination, which can in turn improve your sleep.

RELATED: Sleep and hormones factsheet

Resources

Citizens Advice

Money Saving Expert

Relate

References

1. Relate, ‘Sex at Christmas’

2. Menopause puts final nail in marriage coffin

3-4. Deecher, D.C., Dorries, K. (2007), ‘Understanding the pathophysiology of vasomotor symptoms (hot flushes and night sweats) that occur in perimenopause, menopause, and postmenopause life stages’, Archives of Women’s Mental Health, 10 (6) pp.247–57. doi.org/10.1007/s00737-007-0209-5