Driving anxiety and the menopause

If you’ve suddenly started to worry more about driving, you’re not alone and help is at hand

• Panic, sweats, freezing, catastrophising or worrying: some women come to dread driving
• A lack of hormones can have an impact on your brain’s functioning
• A variety of treatment options, from hypnotherapy to HRT can help

You’ll no doubt know that perimenopause and menopause can influence a woman’s home life, career and relationships, but did you know that many women find their driving can be affected?

You’ll not find research on this specific problem but chat with a group of midlife women or look at forums where we share experiences and no doubt, you’ll have come across someone it’s affected, or you may be experiencing it yourself.

We shouldn’t be surprised – after all, anxiety is a common symptom of menopause. In a survey for Dr Louise Newson’s book The Definitive Guide to the Perimenopause and Menopause, an overwhelming 95% of respondents said they’d experienced a negative change in their mood and emotions since becoming perimenopausal or menopausal, with the most commonly reported symptoms being stress and anxiety, followed by feeling more easily overwhelmed.

RELATED: why is the menopause so stressful?

Even if you’ve been driving confidently since you were 17, it’s a skill that requires multitasking, concentration, decision making, spatial awareness and problem-solving skills. In other words, your brain needs to be working efficiently.

How can menopause affect my brain (and driving)?

During perimenopause and menopause, your brain will usually undergo many changes – in its structure, energy production and how different parts communicate with each other, which is due to levels of the hormones oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone fluctuating and reducing.

However, during this rewiring, when hormone levels fall, women can often experience anxiety, brain fog, mood changes, as well as the more well-known menopause symptom of hot flushes. These symptoms can be felt at any time but for some women, they manifest when driving, or even when they are a passenger in a car.

RELATED: the menopause brain: why it might be feeling strange and what you can do about it

Some women have described feeling panic when driving – they may have a surge of adrenaline, heart palpitations or sweats. Others describe being paralysed with fear or that they know what they need to do – for instance change gear – but feel their body freeze. For others, the worry of doing something wrong or forgetting where they are going makes the thought of driving unbearable. Some women catastrophise and fear that they are going to do something terrible such as crash the car.

What else can affect driving?

Other reasons for driving anxiety can impact your driving, so if, for example, you move from the city to the country you may need to do a different type of driving on fast country roads, which might feel uncomfortable. Or a new job might require you to drive when you are used to commuting by public transport.

You might be growing apart from your partner or relationships can break down. Women who may have previously shared the driving with their partner, might then need to take on more or suddenly need to do a different style of driving (for example, drive on motorways if taking their children to university).

RELATED: emotionally supporting each other through the menopause

Conversely, some women may suffer a loss of confidence so if they are in a relationship, may feel more comfortable letting their partner do more of the driving, but then can become reliant on them.

A lack of sleep, which is common during perimenopause and menopause, can affect driving ability and if you struggle with your sleep over a period of time, you might not feel comfortable behind the wheel.

All of this can have a detrimental effect. For some women, driving anxiety might be a minor inconvenience that they work around – for example, by getting public transport or lifts. For others, it can narrow their life experiences and their world becomes smaller. They may not want to drive to unfamiliar areas. For some it can transform their life, whether it’s because they need to drive for their job or because catastrophising takes over their life even when they are not driving.

How can I overcome driving anxiety?

Thankfully, there are several approaches you can take to try to help relieve driving anxiety.

Replace the missing hormones

Replacing the missing hormones with the right dose and type of HRT, often including testosterone often really improve symptoms. Many women find that their ability to drive improves too.

RELATED: read more articles about HRT here

Relaxation techniques

Relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing and mindfulness can be done before, during and after driving. One example is box breathing, which can help to relieve anxiety. Very simply, it entails breathing in deeply, counting to four slowly. Then hold the breath for four seconds. Exhale slowly for four seconds, imagining your worries leaving your body as you breathe out. Hold again for four seconds, then repeat the practice. You can start by doing this for a few minutes.

Therapies such as solutions-based hypnotherapy or cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can also be effective.

RELATED: does mindfulness help with menopause?

Factual thinking

Negative thoughts can creep into your mind but they can be challenged. You can do this by reframing – rather than brushing the thought aside, reflect on it and ask questions of it, such as ‘is this really true and do I have the evidence?’. If, for example, you think you are no longer a good driver, ask yourself what evidence there is to back it up.

It’s worth remembering that although some women may lack confidence about their driving skill, insurance companies, which set the premiums, see things differently. Firstly, being older means you are considered a lower risk driver.

And although insurance companies can’t discriminate on the grounds of gender, insurance premiums are still cheaper for women because of the perceived risk, which is affected by the likes of the car you drive, your mileage, number of claims and driving offences. According to Confused.com, in 2018 of the 1.4 million car insurance claims made, only 33% were made by women, compared to 67% by men. Men are more likely to be ‘at fault’ when making a claim.

Get comfy

Ensure you are comfortable behind the wheel of the car both physically and psychologically by making any necessary adjustments. Sit in your car and consider whether you’d benefit from a cushion or need to make any tweaks to your seat position, mirrors, etc.

Gradual exposure can also help – start making smaller trips in your car to familiar places so that you feel comfortable, then only build up when you are ready. Consider whether having a passenger with you would help.

When you do need to make any trips to unfamiliar places, give yourself plenty of time, look at the route and familiarise yourself with your destination and where you might park, and have a back-up in mind.

Practical help

If you think you’d benefit from refreshing your skills, Pass Plus is a practical course of six modules that cover driving in town, in all weathers, on rural roads, at night, on dual carriageways and on motorways. You won’t need to take a test, but you will be assessed so it can be a useful way to brush up on your skill and instill confidence.

For something more tailored to anxiety Anna Mathur, a psychotherapist, has an hour-long online video about driving anxiety here.

Confident Drivers is a self-help and information website for nervous drivers. Menopause campaigner Kate Muir spoke to the founders on their podcast, The Driving Confidence Podcast – listen to the episode Anxious Hormones: Exploring the links between hormones and mystery driving anxiety with guest Kate Muir here.

RELATED: Kate Muir: I cannot let this happen to other people